WALL-E, HANCOCK, and THE DARK KNIGHT!

Hey everyone. It's been awhile since I've been able to sit down and write up reviews, but now that the weather is warm and the school is... uhh, out... it's time to get back to some good ol' fashioned criticizing. Let the bitching commence!

WALL-E (2008)

The highlight of 2008's summer movie season so far is Pixar's WALL-E. A touching tale of the adventures in robot infatuation, WALL-E is charming, beautiful, and smarter than any animated film should ever be. WALL-E is not an innocent children's film nor is it subtle in its message(s) by any means - the film drives home the environmental paranoia and rampant obesity epidemic as observed in today's world - but that never becomes even mildly distracting as the utter 'cuteness' of the Wall-E/Eve courtship is so jaw-droppingly adorable that you won't even care that we're destined to evolve into fat, boneless slobs. The film achieves a faultless mesh of message(s) and plot points, ultimately making WALL-E not only disgustingly cute but generates a narrative that is so expertly crafted and executed that you forget this film is marketed as a kid's movie.


WALL-E is a flick for all ages. It's clever enough that even the most testosterone-powered, stoic teenager will leave the theatre with a grin stretching from ear-to-ear and rainbows and butterflies in their heart. It's the magic of cinema at its purest; stunningly well-designed CGI, stunningly well-designed story. See it, be engulfed by it, enjoy life.

My Rating:


Next up is...

HANCOCK (2008)

Sadly I had to follow up WALL-E with Will Smith's latest blockbuster HANCOCK. It's a film that had promise with story, but it's so poorly directed and lost behind gimmick plot twists, putrid dialogue, and genuinely abysmal filmmaking that it quickly becomes one of those "I can find something better do with my time" movies.


You have Will Smith. He's the quintessential romantic hero: flawed, in the dumps, and oh so human. But it never works. Hancock's story falls victim to moronic dialogue and an utter lack of depth and intelligence that molds a complete absence of interest in the character and his life. How do you make Will Smith character uninteresting?! Will Smith could serve as a midwife for the conception of an alien baby and it would at least be mildly interesting, if not at least somewhat comically amusing (and for the record, this has actually happened). Unless you have an affinity for the word "asshole," this film won't do much more than surmise a few chuckles mixed in with a myriad of groans. Yeah... that bad.

HANCOCK is simply boring; nothing about this film is remotely entertaining, in particular a senseless climax that serves as the conclusion of a third act that is so scarred by a baffling series of events that you are forced to forget how bad the rest of the film was just to try to come with some explanation as to what is happening before your eyes. The narrative is shaky and the "big twist" is naueseatingly contrived. Chock on to that list lazy character development, middle school humor, and pacing as smooth as sandpaper and you get a summer blockbuster that falls flat on its grimey, homeless face.

I really wish I would've skipped this and viewed WALL-E for a second time. Well... scratch that. Go see it for Charlize Theron. She's hot. Other than that, save some dime and find something more worth your time (or see WALL-E... whatever floats your boat).

My Rating:

And now I sit back and wait anxiously for THE DARK KNIGHT to be released Friday. The best $13 I will have ever spent will undoubtedly be my pre-ordered IMAX tickets for a Friday showing of the film. Holy Toldeo I'm excited. See ya then!