2008: From Best to Worst

2008 has had its hit and misses, and while I haven't yet seen the Oscar favorites for next year, I have seen a small handful of marquee '08 flicks (you may call it meager, but this is my blog) and since people like seeing things in ranked form, I shall provide a tidy little ranking of the 2008 films I had the great pleasure of spending $10 (or $15 for the IMAX experience) on.

12. HANCOCK
Review? Yes.
Bottom Line: Lots of promise here with one of the most anti-hero superhero films to hit cinemas, but childish humor, baffling plot turns, and mind-numbing stupidity make this the most painful watch since SPIDERMAN 3.

11. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
Review? Nope.
Bottom Line: Resurrecting one of America's most famous adventure heroes goes horribly awry in a film plagued by remarkable implausibility and childish visual effects that turns a celebration of the return of the fedora and whip into a film that ends up as 122 minutes of facepalms.

10. AN AMERICAN CAROL
Review? Yep.
Bottom Line: While the film is a certain breath of fresh air in the political film climate of Al Gore and Michael Moore, David Zucker's parody is desperately mediocre and full of cheap gags and few laughs.

9. IRON MAN
Review: Nope.
Bottom Line: Robert Downey Jr. gives a memorable go as iron clad Tony Stark, but the rest of the film suffers from the same mediocrity of popcorn superhero formula plaguing the rest of the Marvel film adaptations.

8. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Review: Yah.
Bottom Line: After a slow first act, Seth Rogen and the surprising James Franco settle in to a moderately witty stoner comedy that ends up being worth the price of admission.

7. CLOVERFIELD
Review: Nada.
Bottom Line: A truly bold step in Hollywood cinema, CLOVERFIELD is a thrilling, fast-paced home movie that has opened doors for mainstream filmmaking.

6. QUANTUM OF SOLACE
Review: Si.
Bottom Line: Daniel Craig again proves that his casting as 007 was nothing short of brilliant, but despite some truly gut-wrenching drama and a character arc that the aging franchise has never seen, a story weakened by too-swift-pacing and an over-abundance of action leaves the film behind in CASINO ROYALE's dust.

5. BURN AFTER READING
Review: You betcha.
Bottom Line: While not the Oscar winning drama that the Coen Brothers have treated us with over the last few years, BURN AFTER READING is a dark, hilarious ensemble comedy that proves that the duo can do no wrong.

4. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
Review: Ya.
Bottom Line: Not quite the Earth-shattering foreign film it's been made out to be, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is still the most charming film you'll ever watch with severed heads and gallons of blood.

3. FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL
Review: No.
Bottom Line: Despite gratutitous acts of Jason Segel, FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL is yet another Apatow-helmed romcom that is utterly hilarious and neither too sappy nor too cheesy.

2. THE DARK KNIGHT
Review: Of course!
Bottom Line: One of the best action flicks of the decade, THE DARK KNIGHT is smart, immaculately crafted mainstream cinema that has set the bar for all future films in its genre to follow.

1. WALL-E
Review: No duh (and here's a re-review).
Bottom Line: Utterly charming, magical, clever, and feel-good, WALL-E is yet another Pixar film that pushes the boundary of animated children's film into full-fledged grown-up cinema.

There you have it. And yup, I'm a grown man and WALL-E was my favorite movie of the year; even better than THE DARK KNIGHT. I'm perfectly comfortable with myself, thank you very much.

And with that the curtains are drawn on the Scope in 2008. Let's hope 2009 brings us another year of fine cinema and arse-kicking reviews!

Låt den rätte komma in!

Now that the Oscar push is in full bloom, I figure I might as well try to lay my eyes upon all of the contenders that I can. Unfortunately some of these are only going to be in limited release, so I've had to revert to um... other means, but alas, I have finally decided to start watching these films, with the highly acclaimed Swedish vampire flick LET THE RIGHT ONE IN being first on the list.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008)

Folks were eagerly counting down the days before LET THE RIGHT ONE IN hit the festival circuit earlier this year. It came. Critics gushed.

Attribute this to what you want, but the fact that Hollywood is saturating the market with horrible excuses for horror films these days certainly couldn't have hurt the anticipation for a film that was billed as being a breath of fresh air for an otherwise perishing genre.

To understand what makes LET THE RIGHT ONE IN work, I suppose it takes an understanding of why Hollywood horror films of the last decade have hit the crapper. Filmmakers seem to be under the impression that horror movies can only work if there are a bunch of low-IQ college kids running around like idiots getting their limbs hacked off left-and-right. How can people possibly find this shit interesting? If you want to scare me, at least make your so-called "scary movies" suspenseful (originality can't hurt, either). Heck, that's how the first SAW film struck gold (you know, before they decided to make an endless supply of sequels that devolved exponentially into gimmicky, brainless gorefests). Make it something that I can attempt to relate to. That will legitimately make me shit my pants. Wanna know what won't make me make a mess of my pants? A tied-up naked woman getting cold water sprayed on her. I can turn on my shower and watch my own nipples get hard for myself, thank you very much.

Now I'm not singing the praises for LET THE RIGHT ONE IN quite as high as others but it certainly is a welcome change to what has become a pretty boring genre. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN tells the story of a bullied schoolboy named Oskar who becomes friends with Eli, the girl next door; a conisseur of the blood of Swedes who is peculiarly skilled with Rubik's Cubes and neck-snapping. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of blood, death, ferile cats, and spontaneous human combustion here, but this film makes it clear that it's not about gore, vampire romance (oh, and by the way, go fuck yourself TWILIGHT), or any of that formulaic crap. This is a love story that just happens to have the vampire mythos complementing it.

I think you have to look at LET THE RIGHT ONE IN two different ways. As a horror film it's certainly worthy of all its praise. I dunno if I've ever seen a horror flick incorporate a love story as effectively as this, or even take on a theme that was more important to the story than the horror itself. As a standalone film though, I don't think LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is quite as prodigious as billed. While the film as a whole certainly must be lauded for its audacity, the story seems to be held together by a story arc so puny that it makes Nicole Richie look like a Miss Universe contestant. Maybe this was deliberate in trying not to distract from Oskar and Eli's slowly-blossoming courtship, but the sparsely-communicated connections of the supporting characters are sure to leave a few viewers scratching their heads when the finale rolls along. Make no mistakes though, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is still a beautiful film, and in the end, its love story is an audacious step forward that should leave Hollywood filmmakers reconsidering just what exactly it is that makes a good horror film.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is a more-than-solid film, one that any self-respecting horror fan should feast upon. Fortunately for those of you that hate subtitled films, Hollywood has caught wind of LET THE RIGHT ONE IN and has commissioned CLOVERFIELD helmer Matt Reeves to direct the American remake slated for a 2010 release. Groan. What's next, an American version of INFERNAL AFFAIRS? Oh wait... groan!



I really want to see SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. I love Danny Boyle. Perhaps that will be next on the agenda. Or another viewing of THE DARK KNIGHT on Blu-Ray. Who knows?

WALL-E: The Best Film of 2008

I know I already reviewed WALL-E but I don't care. I don't think it did the film enough justice.

WALL-E (2008)

Very rarely does a film come along that truly makes you believe in something. It's one of the mystical traits of cinema that has been seemingly vacant since the golden age of filmmaking passed and the era of Hollywood churning out shit by the megaton began. But hey, if anyone knows how to make real movie magic it's Disney, and with renowned animation studio Pixar at the helm, WALL-E certainly had tremendous potential and boy did it deliver.

I reviewed WALL-E in July (click here!) after seeing it in theatres. Never had I been so tempted to stand up at the conclusion of the end credits and clap until my hands chafed. Forget the stunning visuals, magical first act devoid of any dialogue, a sweeping score by Thomas Newman, and even the never-too-distracting warning about the dangers of consumerism. WALL-E doesn't necessarily work as a sum of all those parts (though they certainly don't hurt). WALL-E works because it's an overwhelmingly endearing story about love.

And while that's all happy and cute and stuff, I think it is still important to digest an inescapable part of the film's message. Are we buying so much stuff that we're going to get to the point where the planet simply can't find enough space to hold it? Are we going to have to look at outer space as an alternative to Earth where we will fall victim to microgravity and lose our bones? Director Andrew Stanton said he didn't make this film with rampant consumerism being one of the main themes. I believe it. WALL-E is about love moreso than trashin' up the planet.

WALL-E deserves a Best Picture nom. It really does. Best Animated Feature should be a shoe-in, but why stop there? As much as I was wooed over by THE DARK KNIGHT, WALL-E is my #1 blockbuster of 2008.

WALL-E isn't a good children's movie. It's a splendid animated science fiction film for all ages. Don't let appearances deceive you.

Go out and buy WALL-E (preferably on Blu-Ray). You'll be happy.

Join my Facebook group!

Daniel Craig has given me a QUANTUM OF SOLACE!

Did Roger Ebert see the same movie I just did? Did Roger Ebert really give DIE ANOTHER DAY three stars and this film two?! Is Roger Ebert really a unicorn? All fitting questions after a sizzling new Bond flick.

QUANTUM OF SOLACE (2008)

Everyone give Daniel Craig a big pat on the back. Now. Before he kicks your ass.

Thanks in no small part to the overwhelming and unprecedented success of CASINO ROYALE, the Bond franchise has been miraculously resuscitated from the dead and spun into an intoxicating new direction that Ian Fleming and Cubby Broccoli would absolutely adore. Daniel Craig is nothing short of a blessing in a tux for 007 and the repercussions that come along with his fleeting talent have served as the jolt that this comatose series has needed after the particularly tedious Brosnan era, where nothing - even invisible cars, a laser beam from space, and a slutty Madonna - was out of the realm of possibility. Following up the success of CASINO ROYALE may have seemed a daunting task but the end result is one that is far from an Aston Martin-priced meltdown. QUANTUM OF SOLACE continues the reinvigoration of the Bond canon with another pulsating, dramatic new chapter that is sure to leave audiences shaken and... well, you know the rest.

QUANTUM is a brisk affair, and its love for action all but enhances this, as apparent by the first frames of the film that introduce us to a jarring (and pretty dusty) car chase over the Italian lakeside. The film makes no qualms about being relentless with its action pieces, and with the film's runtime already at a series-low, the film moves at a noticeably agile pace. But thanks to some of the finest dramatic touch that the series has ever seen, QUANTUM truly feels like a fully-rounded film, mixing short action set pieces with high-tension, effective character work.

The action has its highs and lows, and that's par for the course for Bond, but after its nimble use in CASINO ROYALE, expectations were high for "smart action," not just action-for-action's-sake. While QUANTUM's chases and dogfights never really feel like the walloping brainfarts of the Brosnan era, it certainly balances between genius and borderline unnecessary. The entire DC3 plane sequence could have gotten the hook altogether in fact, as it did nothing to further the plot and in the end fell victim to shoddy CGI and a lazy, clichéd bailout on the part of the authors (Oscar winning writer Paul Haggis being among them). It's not enough to give the film bad marks though, as the film shows off a couple of brilliantly crafted intercut sequences - the Tosca gunfight and the chase amid the Palio horse race - that display the artistry of acclaimed arthouse director Marc Forster (STRANGER THAN FICTION, MONSTER'S BALL).

But let's not fault the film for minor things, as on the whole, it's a pretty darn good flick that stands up with the leaders in its pack. After all, QUANTUM really succeeds in the areas that it had to in order to follow up CASINO even remotely respectively. QUANTUM features some of the most heart-wrenching and impactful twists and turns ever to be seen in a Bond picture, and the success of these daring, uncharted attempts is where Daniel Craig deserves all credit as being one of the most inspired choices in the history of franchise cinema. Craig is a one-man show, powering through the narrative with such a force that you can't help but sit back and think to yourself, "wow... this is a Bond film?" With all of the qualms about the film's short runtime being plagued by a non-stop bombardment of action, you would have never guessed that QUANTUM hits the spot with the drama. Not only does it capitalize on its every instance, it's what makes the film a stand-out among not only its canon but, dare I say, maybe the whole genre.

QUANTUM does have its flaws, notably the rapidfire shifting from location-to-location with little explanation and the resolution to various side-stories coming with the aid of quick bursts of action. The plot seems to move in baby steps, and like the action sequences, seems to be ironed out with a line or two of dialogue before jetting off (literally) to an entirely different series of events. Heck, even the film's controversial title track, Another Way To Die by Alicia Keys and Jack White, has been butchered to pieces over the famous naked-lady titles sequence (which new designers MK12 have done an okay job with - nothing particularly earth-shattering about them). Even with those complaints, it's far from enough to bring down the film as QUANTUM features fantastic performances all around: Craig delivers again, Mathieu Almaric is downright creepy and sinister as slimy environmentalist Al Go...I mean Dominic Greene, Giancarlo Giannini turns in a riveting presentation playing questionable ally René Mathis, and Bond vixen Olga Kurylenko shines when the volume is turned up. Forster may not have aced the chases and fight scenes but he took the dramatic stuff to a level that Bond has never before sniffed.

QUANTUM OF SOLACE is a fun ride. It's got the action and the perfectly-constructed drama to complement it. QUANTUM may not be the instant classic that CASINO ROYALE was, but it's 106 minutes of entertainment that ends up being a pretty damn respectable piece of cinema. And if for some reason there was any doubt about Daniel Craig after his first run as Bond, QUANTUM puts all of that to rest. Craig is now the definitive Bond, a picture-perfect embodiment of the cool yet at times emotionally tender 00 that puts sissy-boys like Pierce Brosnan to shame. Although QUANTUM might be a little too jumpy and favorable to action, the execution of the meaty stuff is where the film earns its stripes.

And fear not moviegoers. You get your own solace from this film as well. QUANTUM has not only darn-near finished the story arc from CASINO ROYALE, but also finds that Bond ends the film on a particularly convincing developmental note, highlighted in metaphor as the iconic gunbarrel sequence draws the curtains on a James Bond flick that has brought the character arc started in CASINO ROYALE full-circle. Bond has his quantum of solace and it looks as if he is well on his way to becoming the slick secret agent that we all know and love. And as the credits foresee, James Bond Will Return, and interested I shall be.



Welp, that's probably going to be about it for '08, though Will Smith's new film SEVEN POUNDS does look kinda promising. WALL-E is coming on Tuesday so I'm sure I'll be spending my week enjoying that on Blu-Ray. Until then, sayonara!

Bond Mania Part II: The Sound of Bond

One week until QUANTUM OF SOLACE shakes and stirs North American theatres and the Bond merchandise machine is rolling on all cylinders! Last week I got to watch and review the much anticipated, brand-spankin'-new CASINO ROYALE Collector's Edition release on Blu-Ray. This week it's David Arnold's QUANTUM OF SOLACE Official Motion Picture Soundtrack and the new Bond theme compilation CD The Best of Bond... James Bond.

QUANTUM OF SOLACE
Official Motion Picture Soundtrack
(2008; Audio CD)

David Arnold catches plenty of slack from Bond fans - and for good reason - as his Bond scores have the consistency of a month-old carton of rotten milk. He busted onto the Bond scene with a rousing tribute to the music of James Bond with TOMORROW NEVER DIES before digressing into soulless, techno-heavy compositions for THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH and the aural vomit of DIE ANOTHER DAY. With the unveiling of Daniel Craig as the sixth James Bond in 2006's CASINO ROYALE came the opportunity for Arnold to take a step back and go back to a back-to-basics approach with the score, shying away from the synth in favor of a darker and more classical approach (minus the famous James Bond fanfare, of course). Now comes QUANTUM OF SOLACE which is an entirely different animal and one of Arnold's boldest, most admirable Bond works yet.

Fans looking for the James Bond Theme in heavy use will again be disappointed, but fear not... it's there in varying manifestations. Its spare use heightens its effectiveness, especially in a riveting, pulsing string version of the theme at the end of the track "Perla De Las Dunas." Interestingly enough (SPOILER AHEAD!), similarly to CASINO ROYALE, the James Bond Theme isn't heard in its jazzy entirety until the very end of the film (and it's again being used as metaphor for Bond's incomplete character arc) (END OF SPOILER), and curiously, it's completely absent from the album. Not exactly sure why this is but hey, Chris Cornell's You Know My Name was devoid from the CASINO ROYALE album, so the long-running history of score albums missing tracks you'd think would be on it continues. Whatever.

There are quite a few snazzy location-oriented pieces here, such as "Talamone," a quick and stirring cue that is high on Italian flavor, and "Bond in Haiti" which features local percussion (reminiscent of "African Rundown" from CASINO ROYALE) and woodwinds. Also apparent is some rather heavy use of Arnold's Vesper motif from CASINO ROYALE (see: "What's Keeping You Awake"). Having not seen the film yet I can't fairly deduct how effective this is but for continuity's sake (and the fact that this film is a direct sequel playing off of the death of Vesper) it's a great decision by Arnold that emphasizes the weight Vesper has left on Bond's mind as one of the driving forces behind what he's after in this film.

One of Arnold's big gambles here was featuring some heavy electric guitar in some of the action cues, notably "Pursuit at Port Au Prince." QUANTUM OF SOLACE is billed as being as dark and gritty as Bond gets and the scratchy guitar and powerful drum lines mirror the desired tone that director Marc Forster has taken for the film, certainly more than any jazzy fanfare or synth-driven track would. Unfortunately some of Arnold's compositions for the action scenes do tend to fall back into his old tendencies where his tracks are basically one big blaring wall-of-sound that will blow the skin off of your face (parts of "The Palio," "Target Terminated," and "Perla De Las Dunas" fall victim to this), but if anything, it's forgiven as the rest of Arnold's score has enough soul and heart to distract from any one of three or so boring, generic action cues. Heck, even Arnold's use of synth here is entirely forgiveable as it never becomes entirely overbearing or distracting, instead serving as the complement to the orchestra playing over it. In fact, Arnold gives us one of his coolest cues on a Bond score, "Inside Man," which features highly noticeable electronics before giving way to the familiar notes of the James Bond Theme. It might not be what the purists are looking for but it works as an effective blend of classic Bond style with a slightly modern twist.

And yes, the film's title song appears on the album, although oddly last on the list. Jack White and Alicia Keys' Another Way To Die has generated a fair amount of controversy over the interwebs, sharply dividing Bond fans and the general public alike, but all-in-all, it's an entirely passable Bond theme that's decidingly modern but yet contains the classic elements that make it a Bond theme that works. There aren't many instances where it appears in the score in any form of major motif, but then again, the song wasn't a David Arnold product. There are hints of it in "Pursuit at Port Au Prince" if anyone is looking.

David Arnold's QUANTUM OF SOLACE score is fresh - it's got balls which has something Arnold has seemed to be without since penning his first Bond score in 1997. It's dark and haunting yet contemporary and resolute. It's the first time since LICENSE TO KILL that a Bond soundtrack has any form of life or substance and that's why this score works - because this Bond has substance. It's not enough to throw synth techno-beats and two-note brass motifs at Bond scores anymore (at least with Craig's Bond). The Bond films need introspection via music and Arnold's QUANTUM score takes a pretty big leap toward that.

The Best of Bond... James Bond
(2008; Audio CD)

Are you lazy? Do you love things that are exceptionally convenient? Heck, are you a Bond fan? If you meet all three of these very specific requirements, The Best of Bond... James Bond will surely tickle your fancy. An update on 2002's version under the same title, The Best of Bond... James Bond contains all of the theme songs from the first 21 films, plus Surrender by k.d. lang (why does she spell her name in all lower-case letters?) for TOMORROW NEVER DIES and Louis Armstrong's We Have All The Time In The World penned for ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE.

Also added is a mix of the James Bond Theme by DJ John Arnold. Arnold's product here is utter crap so this one track alone far from makes the album worth the price of admission.

Omitted from this release that featured on the 2002 version are Parodi/Fair and Moby's renditions of the James Bond Theme. Neither of those two tracks actually appear in a Bond film (nor as the theme, no less) - both have served as the score for seemingly every Bond trailer and commercial between 1995 and 2002 - so it's really no big deal. Some have found this to be a bigger loss than others though, likely because they sacrificed those two for an infinitely crappier take on the Bond theme (why they chose to do that in favor of John Arnold's trash is beyond me). In their places though, Madonna's Die Another Day and Cornell's You Know My Name appear making the album as updated as possible, sans Alica Keys and Jack White's QUANTUM OF SOLACE theme Another Way To Die.

You can also pick up a bonus version, if you will, of this album that comes with a DVD containing several music videos and a documentary on the music of James Bond. Anyone with an extensive Bond DVD collection will find this unnecessary though as most of these appear in one way or another on the DVD releases of the films.

Why pick this up? For those of you who preferred the film mix of Chris Cornell's You Know My Name, you'll find it here for the first time ever in non-bootleg (as in ripped straight from the titles of the DVD) form. In case you're wondering (or hadn't noticed), the film mix boosts the sound of the orchestra, taking away some of the rock edge that the track on Cornell's album had. It's a classy yet jagged listen that really captured Craig's Bond in CASINO ROYALE to a tee.

Like I said, if you want all of the Bond tunes in one place, you'll find this album to be fabulously convenient. Just avoid John Arnold's track unless you have a soft spot for unoriginal remixes that sound like cruddy made-at-home MIDI compositions.



One week until QUANTUM! Woohoo!

It's Bond Mania!

Only a few more weeks until QUANTUM OF SOLACE hits so you know what that means... Sony are shoving Bond merchandise down our throats! Being the brainwashed, double-dipping slave-to-the-corporations consumer that I am, I of course indulged on my love for Bond with a couple purchases this week. Since I haven't been to the cinema of late I might as well offer up my reviews on two new Bond-related items to hit the market.

Today I'll be reviewing the new CASINO ROYALE Collector's Edition Blu-Ray DVD and later on I will offer up my thoughts on the QUANTUM OF SOLACE Official Motion Picture Soundtrack.

CASINO ROYALE Collector's Edition [Blu-Ray]

Sony are pretty well known for their double-dipping tactics with home video releases, and with the barebones first release of CASINO ROYALE on DVD in March 2007, a future beefed-up release was almost a certainty. Promised deleted scenes, docs, commentaries, and enhanced interactional features all here in a gorgeous collection that sets this version of CASINO ROYALE from the rest of the Bond DVD catalog.

Upon taking this baby out of the box I found that the powerful cover art is hard to take your eyes off of. It seems Sony have listened to the fans and used the CASINO ROYALE teaser poster to grace the cover. I've always been infatuated with this image as well as the majority of the Bond community - it captures the essence of Craig's Bond and the tone of the film so well - so it appears as if Sony have been studying their marketing skills as such a release is going to make its money with the niches (re-released DVDs - especially the "Collector's" or "Ultimate" versions - don't really market themselves to the average person as much as they do to the respective fanbases). Even the menus are slick with a flying card motif with images from the film plastered upon them.

The quality of the transfer itself is nearly flawless but that was never really a problem as the original 2007 release was borderline perfect. Video quality is virtually identical with maybe a few minor few minor upgrades in color here and there. The sound mix is a little different in instances but still pretty darn crankin' on a surround sound system. I'm still not sure why neither of the CASINO ROYALE releases have featured DTS, opting instead for 5.1 (TrueHD nonetheless) but I'm no audiophile so I couldn't tell you why Sony have favored one over the other.

Special Features are where this release goes miles above and beyond the first release with seven hours of added material, a vast improvement over the scant 90 minutes on the original. These are geared toward hardened Bond fans with fascinating documentaries on intricate issues regarding the rights to CASINO ROYALE, Ian Fleming, and the production of the film. Eon have even unlocked the vault and allowed four deleted scenes to appear. The features from the first release have carried over, and all are in 1080p HD minus the "Bond Girls Are Forever" doc and the Chris Cornell music video. If you pick up the Blu-Ray version you can compete with fellow viewers across the globe in an interactive Bond trivia game called "Know Your Double-o" supported by Blu-Ray Live. And let's not forget commentaries, since the first release was without, with a picture-in-picture commentary from director Martin Campbell and producer Michael G. Wilson and a crew commentary featuring several prominent crew members from the film.

The Collector's Edition release of CASINO ROYALE is now the benchmark for all Bond DVD releases. Not only is the transfer of the film masterful but the elegant presentation of the package is spot-on for Bond. Hey, it will even make the fans happy with a sufficient amount of special features to make the double-dip worth it.

The Ultimate Edition releases of 2006 are now being upconverted to Blu-Ray and hitting the market just in time for QUANTUM OF SOLACE so we'll see how well those look in the full glory of high definition. Hopefully those will stand out as much as this one, and they better since Blu-Ray ain't exactly cheap.



I'm listening to the QUANTUM soundtrack as we speak so look for the review of that in the near future. Tallyho!

Conservatives everywhere are singing David Zucker's CAROL!

Liberal Hollywood sucks! They're all a bunch of communist nutjob hippies! Woooooooo!!!!!!!!

AN AMERICAN CAROL (2008)

Michael Moore sucks. Let's face it. He's a self-righteous piece of shit that abuses his First Amendment rights by shoving anti-American propaganda down our throats several times a year. I don't know about you but I can't take any filmmaker seriously that either lies or exaggerates so badly that other filmmakers take it upon themselves to produce "debunker" films that explain point-by-point where someone has gone off the deep end.

Thankfully for Hollywood there's a David Zucker out there to help counter the industry's blatant bias. Zucker's track record has some ups and downs - AIRPLANE! being one of the ups, SUPERHERO MOVIE being one of the downs - but AN AMERICAN CAROL offers a breath of fresh air in a medium that is dominatly, and sometimes nauseatingly, slanted to the left.

AN AMERICAN CAROL is silly. It's full of wacky gags and parody-level stereotyping, but the film never really tries to be more than the spoof that it essentially is. Instead of a genre spoof, it's a Moore spoof, and this is where the film achieves its objectives. It doesn't have to be overly clever. All it has to do it take repeated jabs at Michael Moore and that's what it does. It makes fun of his "documentary filmmaker" status. It makes fun of his obesity. It makes fun of his flagrant hatred of America. It makes fun of everything that Michael Moore does that makes the man thoroughly disgusting and despiseful.

Kevin Farley is simply okay, though at points it seems as if all we're seeing is the reincarnate of his deceased brother Chris dressed up in Moore's standard hoodie and Michigan State hat. Kelsey Grammar is rather underwhelming as well, but in all fairness, it's a role that's been seen before in several different incarnations (General Patton as one of the ghosts of Christmas past) making a distinguishable performance difficult to attain. The film is also complemented by a plethora of conservative heads: Bill O'Reilly, Dennis Hopper, and Robert Davi, all of which have seemingly volunteered whatever possible to help take one big, terrorist-hating, country-music-loving, hamburger-guzzling jab at liberal Hollywood.

The film is a spoof movie and there's no getting around it. It's not particularly genius or witty but that's okay. AN AMERICAN CAROL takes its shots at Michael Moore and the rest of the Hollywood leftist goons and that's all it needs to do. It's no AIRPLANE! (though Leslie Nielsen does feature), but it's certainly miles ahead of Moore's propagandist garbage. While the stupid humor (and overall just stupid story and dialogue) left the weight of a life-sized Michael Moore doll to be desired, anything that can show audiences how thoroughly disgusting a human being Moore is gets my praise.



I'm guessing this will be my last review until QUANTUM OF SOLACE hits American theatres on November 14. Until then, happy viewing!

Pitt, Clooney, Malkovich, Simmons... heck, even the Coens are BURNing!

School starts next week so I suppose I still have one more movie left in me to finally put the summer movie season of 2008 to rest. It was a pretty good summer... global warming is still fake, the particle accelerator didn't generate a deadly black hole, THE DARK KNIGHT was fucking amazing, and most importantly, the Republican vice presidential candidate ends up being a total babe. Yowza! With that said, let's move on, shall we?

BURN AFTER READING (2008)

With every new Coen Brothers release comes a flurry of indie hype and pretentious buzz - it's simply unavoidable. Riding the tails of NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, BURN AFTER READING has been oft regarded as a "victory lap" of sorts for the Coens, which naturally has sent the self-righteous Coen fans into a fury of outrageous proportion, marked by a series of Starbucks sit-ins and the burning of countless hybrid vehicles. Shame, because under all of that so-called disastrous underachieving and laziness lies a highly entertaining witty and dark ensemble comedy.

BURN AFTER READING is a quick one, that's for sure, weighing in at a svelt 96 minutes, but it's an hour-and-a-half of buffoonery, idiocity, and plundering that only the Coens could pull off. The film suffers from a noticeably slow exposition (all of which commences with an opening scene that establishes Osborne Cox's (John Malkovich) affinity for the word 'fuck'). BURN never really gets its legs until Chad (Brad Pitt), a more than dim-witted gym trainer, comes into the picture, and from there, the film's pace really takes off with a series of baffling (or should I say shocking?) deaths and silly events that come to characterize the goofy nature of the entire flick.

Without the help of some incredulous casting, BURN AFTER READING likely would not succeed as billed. In fact some of the film's stars come out of the woodwork to deliver delightfully funny and out-of-pigeon-hole performances. Clooney is brilliant; a retired bodyguard and sort of paranoid playboy of sorts whose aspirations of inventorship reach the pinnacle of potty humor, Malkovich achieves drollery in his own angst and holier-than-thou attitude, and even J.K. Simmons emerges as a star, making the absolute most of his ten minutes of screen time. Frances McDormand though is really the only underwhelming performer as she essentially plays the same character from FARGO sans uniform and badge. But in the end it's Brad Pitt who takes top marks with an utterly hilarious turn as a character that is nothing more than a complete and total idiot. How many filmmakers can take a character that has no depth, development, or arc and make them wholly enjoyable (and Will Ferrell in every single muck of a film he's in doesn't count by the way)?

BURN AFTER READING is far from an example of talented filmmakers gone lazy. In fact, if this picture is uninspired filmmaking, the rest of the stuff coming out of Hollywood must be created by the comatose (eh, that might not be too far from the truth actually). It's clever, funny, and a fun watch. It might not be the life-changing drama that NO COUNTRY was, but it's a welcome change-of-pace that, if nothing else, displays the Coen's versatility in mixing up genre. If you want a SUPERBAD like comedy, this one is not for you, but if you want something that's a little more dark and cruelly laughable, the latest Coen venture will certainly satisfy your appetites. Oscar winner this one isn't, but an enjoyable, worth-your-time flick it most certainly is.

Mid-to-late season review!

Alright, the summer movie season of '08 is about to wrap so it's time to take a brief look at the best and worst of the year.

Of the eight 2008 releases I have seen, here's how I'd rank 'em:

The Great
1. THE DARK KNIGHT
2. WALL-E
3. FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

The Good
4. CLOVERFIELD

The 'Meh'
5. PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
6. IRON MAN

The Bad
7. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

The Ugly
8. HANCOCK

There you have it. And yes, IRON MAN was terribly overrated, CRYSTAL was a pile of rank dog shit, and THE DARK KNIGHT was everything I had hoped it would be.

As for the rest of 2008, the only event marked on my calendar so far is QUANTUM OF SOLACE, which has unfortunately just been pushed back a week to November 14. 'Til then (maybe), in the spirit of the Olympics, zài jiàn (and zài jiàn to that god awful disgrace of a country as well)!

All aboard the PINEAPPLE EXPRESS!

I've now seen THE DARK KNIGHT three times (don't you want TITANIC to be beaten also?) so a change of pace is needed and welcomed. This week it's PINEAPPLE EXPRESS.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (2008)

Some names instantly interest me in a project - Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen being among the select few of my prestigious catalogue. Needless to say I was eagerly anticipating this film, but the end result is a movie that falls short of either's top efforts.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS has its funny moments, but it doesn't quite stand up to either 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN or KNOCKED UP. Let's face it - stoner comedies are difficult to do well (and despite what society seems to say, you can't convince me that there is a truly great one out there), but as far as the genre goes, PINEAPPLE EXPRESS is nothing more than an apt attempt that still left an unhealthy, munchies-esque appetite for more.

James Franco has been catching quite a bit of buzz for this role, chiefly because its his first opportunity to show off his actin' chomps without a green screen behind him, and while it's certainly deserved, it was neither he nor Rogen (who, rather shockingly, is reprising the same character from his last few films) that stole the show. It was Danny McBride (Red) who served up the most laughs, particularly in a thunderous house fight and an instance of vehicular homicide. Why didn't he get more screen time? I needed more Danny McBride, damnit!

All-in-all, PINEAPPLE EXPRESS is an okay watch. The mediocre, surprisingly unfunny first half transitions into a second half that provides enough laughs to make you leave the theatre satisfied. But underneath a plethora of stupid action (which at points seems nauseatingly intentional) and idiotic and clichéd buddy-film plot turns, EXPRESS ends up being nothing more than an acceptable stoner comedy.

The KNIGHT is upon us!

A year of hype and excitement and I'm having a hard time finding where to begin. Whew.

THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)

THE DARK KNIGHT is a masterpiece; a film that transcends genre stereotypes and redefines what a well-done comic book film should be. It's 150 minutes of an awe-inducing adrenaline rush that will leave you at a loss of words.

But in a superhero movie?

It certainly doesn't feel like one. In fact, this is more of a crime epic than a comic book film; more HEAT than SPIDERMAN. THE DARK KNIGHT is about escalation; that things must get worse before they get better, and that's what's happening in Christopher Nolan's scarily-real Gotham. No abundance of neon lights and gothic architecture here... this is a Gotham City that could easily pass for any of today's major metropolises.


The hype generated over Heath Ledger's Joker is perfectly legitimate. Though his Joker is undoubtedly horrifying, it's his ethos that makes this incarnation particularly frightening. Never before has a comic book film seen a villain with such rich psychological depth - this Joker is out to question Gotham's morality and priorities, not kill just for the sake of killing - giving him a specific chill that will leave audiences particularly aghast. Ledger presents a villain crafted so immaculately that he's likely to go down among the ranks of cinema's best, putting him in the same formidable breath as some of the medium's all-time top baddies.

Audaciously diving right back into exploring Bruce Wayne and his own ethos in the struggle to fight for good, THE DARK KNIGHT further develops what BATMAN BEGINS created in crafting Batman's origins. Things are certainly escalating in Gotham, and in THE DARK KNIGHT, crap is hitting the fan. When people close to Bruce start dying, director Nolan dexterously explores his mental struggle: does Batman keep fighting for good or does he succumb to the bloodshed that has come at his hands? Although the award buzz will likely all go to Ledger, it's Bale that must be credited for an equally provocative performance, again proving that his casting was an inspired choice; a blessing for the integrity of the character after a paralyzing series of films a decade before. Bale's Batman is the definitive superhero lead of our time, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

The players of THE DARK KNIGHT don't stop delivering there, and while audience favorites Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman all prove to be admissable, it's Aaron Eckhart's go as Harvey Dent that's particularly beguiling. Gotham's "white knight," as they call him, is strangely courageous, summing up the brazen will to fight the mob and pursue the most powerful criminals in Gotham. His rise and fall is fascinating, enchanting, and ultimately, wholly gruesome. His transformation into Two-Face is an immaculate summation of the tragic hero of old literature, and it's Eckhart's fabulous depiction of the character that will draw audiences in to his unfortunate downfall from the savior of Gotham into a vengeful renegade.

THE DARK KNIGHT is not just the best film of 2008, it's the best superhero film to ever grace the screen. THE DARK KNIGHT is a smart, deep, action-packed thrill-ride that will leave your jaw agape. The gold standard for comic book films has now been set and the bar is higher than ever. It's perfectly crafted modern Hollywood cinema - expert story-telling, brilliant pacing (how many 150 minute films move so quickly?), and a rich, moody score - all coming together to form a beautiful, resounding cinematical success.

This is a must-see. Actually, see it a few times. Take it all in. Experience the rush that a truly great film can give you. And if you don't like it, I only have one question for you: why so serious?

My Rating:

WALL-E, HANCOCK, and THE DARK KNIGHT!

Hey everyone. It's been awhile since I've been able to sit down and write up reviews, but now that the weather is warm and the school is... uhh, out... it's time to get back to some good ol' fashioned criticizing. Let the bitching commence!

WALL-E (2008)

The highlight of 2008's summer movie season so far is Pixar's WALL-E. A touching tale of the adventures in robot infatuation, WALL-E is charming, beautiful, and smarter than any animated film should ever be. WALL-E is not an innocent children's film nor is it subtle in its message(s) by any means - the film drives home the environmental paranoia and rampant obesity epidemic as observed in today's world - but that never becomes even mildly distracting as the utter 'cuteness' of the Wall-E/Eve courtship is so jaw-droppingly adorable that you won't even care that we're destined to evolve into fat, boneless slobs. The film achieves a faultless mesh of message(s) and plot points, ultimately making WALL-E not only disgustingly cute but generates a narrative that is so expertly crafted and executed that you forget this film is marketed as a kid's movie.


WALL-E is a flick for all ages. It's clever enough that even the most testosterone-powered, stoic teenager will leave the theatre with a grin stretching from ear-to-ear and rainbows and butterflies in their heart. It's the magic of cinema at its purest; stunningly well-designed CGI, stunningly well-designed story. See it, be engulfed by it, enjoy life.

My Rating:


Next up is...

HANCOCK (2008)

Sadly I had to follow up WALL-E with Will Smith's latest blockbuster HANCOCK. It's a film that had promise with story, but it's so poorly directed and lost behind gimmick plot twists, putrid dialogue, and genuinely abysmal filmmaking that it quickly becomes one of those "I can find something better do with my time" movies.


You have Will Smith. He's the quintessential romantic hero: flawed, in the dumps, and oh so human. But it never works. Hancock's story falls victim to moronic dialogue and an utter lack of depth and intelligence that molds a complete absence of interest in the character and his life. How do you make Will Smith character uninteresting?! Will Smith could serve as a midwife for the conception of an alien baby and it would at least be mildly interesting, if not at least somewhat comically amusing (and for the record, this has actually happened). Unless you have an affinity for the word "asshole," this film won't do much more than surmise a few chuckles mixed in with a myriad of groans. Yeah... that bad.

HANCOCK is simply boring; nothing about this film is remotely entertaining, in particular a senseless climax that serves as the conclusion of a third act that is so scarred by a baffling series of events that you are forced to forget how bad the rest of the film was just to try to come with some explanation as to what is happening before your eyes. The narrative is shaky and the "big twist" is naueseatingly contrived. Chock on to that list lazy character development, middle school humor, and pacing as smooth as sandpaper and you get a summer blockbuster that falls flat on its grimey, homeless face.

I really wish I would've skipped this and viewed WALL-E for a second time. Well... scratch that. Go see it for Charlize Theron. She's hot. Other than that, save some dime and find something more worth your time (or see WALL-E... whatever floats your boat).

My Rating:

And now I sit back and wait anxiously for THE DARK KNIGHT to be released Friday. The best $13 I will have ever spent will undoubtedly be my pre-ordered IMAX tickets for a Friday showing of the film. Holy Toldeo I'm excited. See ya then!